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Ezine Ready

Effective Use of Dating Conversations To Succeed

You have landed a date. Very cool for you. Youre a little nervous and you think that you might not have enough to offer her to keep her interested. Before you ever leave your place to start the evening, adjust your thinking. Spend a few minutes thinking about how much youve accomplished in your life and how awesome you really are. Take the expectation off.

Thinking things like she might be the one on your first date is a little filled with potential disastrous expectation. Simply look forward to having a good time and seeing what might be in store for you that night. Be prepared-bring a condom. Be ready to keep it tucked away and never even think about it for the rest of the night.

It is still cool to show up with a little something like a fresh flower. Women find a little chivalry enticing. Dont go overboard and hand over three dozen red roses, but often a simple fresh flower that you picked up along the way is the perfect way to let her know that you honor her time and are looking forward to spending an evening with her. When you first meet her or pick her up, be honest and complimentary.

Let me take a moment and clue you in on a womans ritual for preparing for a date. She puts in a lot more effort than we do, and knowing what she goes through tends to help us know what to pay attention to. First, she showered and she probably shaved things. Then she selected underwear that she feels are sexy and appealing even if she ahs no intention of you viewing it yet. That was for her. She has spent a good deal of time, experimentation, and money on how she smells. She probably has scented deodorant, perfumes, lotions, and body sprays all with the intention of making herself olfactory appealing.

From there she has selected clothing that she feels will draw attention to her best attributes while she tried to hide her less than perfect ones. She wants to look beyond good or nice. She is going for hot or bangin. After that she has most likely applied make up, worked out what she is doing with her hair and then redone her hair and make up several times to get just the right look. Clothing was ironed and freshly washed and her time was spent totally devoted to being more than just presentable.

So when you see your date and you compliment her on her looks, the way she smells, and how she affects you, go for bigger words. Avoid things like nice, fine, and good. These are not as complimentary as we wish they were.

She is just as nervous and as concerned about having a good time as you are. Dont look to her to take control but certainly tune into what she is saying and how to expand on her topics to enhance the conversation. Of course, you are not a mindless cloud and she does want to get to know you as well. The more she feels like you are really listening and paying attention the more self centered conversation you can get away with. Be responsible. If you are driving her home and you have drinks at the bar, dont drink more than one or two the entire night. If you came out to get loaded together, make sure you have a contingency plan in order to make sure that both of you end up home safely at the end of the night. Of course, the more alcohol you introduce into the situation the more likely you are to end up in bed with her. The more alcohol that is running through your bodies the greater the chances of morning after regret or a damaging accusation will infringe on your days following the date.

A lot of guys get really confused between the small talk agenda when handling a first date and talking about serious more in depth issues. This is a tricky area and the best teacher is really the woman you are with. There is a certain amount of small talk, like the food, the environment, and your basic observations of the world around the two of you. There is also plenty of room for more in depth conversation that gets down to the heart of who you both are and whether or not youre compatible. But you dont want to lay down so much seriousness that the date isnt fun. Simply follow her lead. Fill the silence with a little small talk if she isnt going to pick up the ball every now and then.

Small talk helps the two of you display some similarities and differences. For instance you can both get an idea of what kind of food you both like (is one a vegetarian and the other living off steaks and potatoes) or how you both have an appreciation for fine artwork. Small talk is an essential part of relaxing and taking each other in and deciding where you think theyll fit in your life.

First date conversation is a chance for each of you to determine what you really think of the other one and whether or not they would fit into your life. While you always would prefer a date go well and that you have a good time, why spend the time and the money going out with the same person only to discover on the fifth or sixth date that you really arent headed anywhere close to the same direction? Just because the two of you arent able to be compatible as anything more than conversationalists or bedroom buddies doesnt mean that having a rather disappointing first date has to be a bad thing. The only way you can really blow it is if you acted poorly. Did you do something terribly inappropriate or did you say something that was particularly cruel? If so then you need to check your issues and work on whatever led to that scene.

All too often a guy will get himself all hung up on the end result. When you slip the condom in your wallet you are simply being prepared. If you go through dinner or your movie (which really it makes no sense to go watch a movie on a date because you arent getting a chance to know her any better or what potential you might uncover) with the condom burning a hole through your wallet then you are probably missing out on so much. Your experience from the time you first pick her up or meet her until the evening ends, is on you. Just because you didnt get laid or dont think youre going to get laid, or think youre going to but blow it because you cant be bothered to listen doesnt mean the whole night had to be a bust. Learn to appreciate the night in its entirety and not only will you be more successful but you will also have a much better time getting there.

It can be nerve wracking to go out on a first date with someone if you are really unsure of your ability to talk to women or if it has been a long time. It can be even more nerve wracking if your last three first dates blew apart on you. Take everything one step at a time and dont expect the same behaviors from each woman. Women are individuals, not something to be captured and dragged back home. Just because the last one turned out to be completely different than you ever could have imagined doesnt mean that this one will as well. Give yourself more credit for your capacity to learn and give the female race more credit for being able to produce a whole world of unique and awesome choices.

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