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Ezine Ready

How to Love Yourself Thin!

As each new day dawns, I am blessed to share in the journeys of others. One by one, each person has summoned the courage to reach out in friendship and share a common path. For some, the journey ends all too quickly and they turn away, without a word, giving in to defeat. For countless others, they embrace an online community of loving, caring friends and begin to heal.

Each person has a story. There are those who shyly sit back and slowly begin to interact and there are those who shout out for all to hear. A full range of emotions seems to surface, from anger, fear, remorse and sadness, to happiness, courage, acceptance and peace.

Day after day, I sit in amazement as I watch these amazing people reach out to each other. Caringly, with extreme compassion and genuine love, their gentle and heartfelt words are written to comfort the heart of their friends. Those receiving this unconditional outpouring of support are embraced with total acceptance, unending support and gentle words of encouragement. They are upheld in their moment of despair and the lives of those that share in this exchange can feel their honest and heartfelt desire to offer aid in hopes of healing another.

From time to time, each person that has unselfishly rushed to the aid of another finds themselves in a failure of their own. As they write, they share the depth of their failure, how angry they are at themselves for failing, how they hate themselves and their body image and how they no longer believe in themselves.

As I (like others) was compelled to rush to their aid a moment of awakening occurred!

-Why is it that we can be so accepting and understanding to another soul and yet so unforgiving and harsh with ourselves?
-Why is it we encourage others to take baby steps and gently support them in their progress yet set unrealistic expectations for ourselves?
-Why is it that we give caring, loving support to others but turn on ourselves with anger and hate?

This was a personal revelation for me as I realized that I, too, had set unrealistic expectations for myself. While I always thought I deserved to be happy and treated well, I found that the person who was treating me the worst was me!

A gentle friend, who accepted me for who I am and encouraged me to care more about myself, caringly shared this poem with me. It hit home. It was posted on my bathroom mirror for a very long time and these words are never far from my thoughts. In an effort to pay it forward, and in his honor, it is shared with you..

Queen for a Day

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you queen for a day
Then go the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that girl has to say

For it isnt your husband, brother or mother
Whose judgment upon you must pass
The person whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the girl looking back from the glass

Shes the person to trust, nevermind all the rest
For shes with you clear up to the end
And youve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the girl in the glass is your friend

Author Unknown, Adapted by Michael

The truth is, we must learn to love ourselves. It is the essence of healing our hearts. In doing so, we are then able to successfully move forward in our lives. If we do not learn this, we are stuck in the struggle for self, just as if being mired in quicksand.

There is a famous saying that says You cant learn to love someone else until you learn to love yourself. Another one states You cant expect someone to love you until you love yourself. There is truth in both statements.

So, throw out those negative self-images! Give yourself the kindness you would give a stranger! As you find yourself starting the negative self-talk, step outside yourself and imagine it is a friend in your situation instead of yourself. What would you tell them? Would you be forgiving? Would you encourage them?

Then, treat yourself with the same kindness you would a stranger. For when you learn to forgive yourself, accept yourself and love yourself, you have the key to your success! In the caring, loving, accepting environment you create, the seeds you plant to lose weight, be happy and healthy will grow!

Louise Hay said it best: When someone comes to me with a problem, I dont care what it is: poor health, lack of money, unfulfilling relationships, or self esteem issues,H there is only one thing that I ever work on, and that is LOVING THE SELF. I find that when we really love, accept and approve of ourselves exactly as we are, then everything in life works.

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