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Ezine Ready

Removing Obstacles To A Truly Fulfilling Relationship

Without a genuine understanding of what you are looking for, how do you expect to ever end up with it? If you dont know what you are going after then you are pretty much just chasing your tail hoping that a treat falls out of the sky and lands within your grasp. This is really not an uncommon issue for guys but it is also one of the most readily removable obstacles in your way from a truly fulfilling relationship.

Decide what it is that you believe you want. Notice that I didnt say decide what it is that will make you happy. If you are waiting on someone else to make you happy, then you arent going to be happy when she arrives and you certainly arent going to be a happy enough individual to keep her around. Decide what you want and work on your own happiness elsewhere.

Divert fro just a moment with me. Lets say that you decide that you are only interested in a one night stand. Its time to ask yourself why. One night stands can be exciting and they can lead to some pretty interesting nights of sex and play, but they are genuinely unfulfilling. Even guys who sleep with a wide barrage of women and are very successful players seem to think that their lifestyle isnt all that its cracked up to be. So if youre heading in that direction, check in with yourself. Dont settle for something because you think thats what others expect of you or because you think that its all you can get. Go a little deeper and ask yourself why you want what you want and find out if it is really what you are looking for. If that is truly what you want, go for it. If it isnt, alter your plans.

What you want might change in a heartbeat. I knew a guy once who swore up and down he never wanted to get married because he never wanted to get bored sexually. So he went about life playing and hurting women and deciding only what was best for him. At the most inopportune moment, he decided that he wanted to be done with the fast and the simple and he wanted something deeper and more complicated. It struck him so hard he wasnt really sure how to handle it. What he really got stuck on was that he thought it wasnt okay to change his mind. Why not?

If one day you want pizza and the next day you want ice cream, where does it say in the rule book that you arent allowed to have such a change of heart? It doesnt. So what you want today might not be what you still want tomorrow and thats cool. Youre allowed to do that. Let me qualify by stating it does work the other way as well. You might be a happily married guy and then realize one day that you dont want to be happily married. You are allowed to change your mind in this direction, too. My only words of wisdom is that you should handle it gently and break as little of what you built as possible. Most women only want you with them if thats truly what you want.

Once you understand what you are really looking for, it is much easier to obtain it. There isnt any reason why you cant attract exactly what you are looking for just by putting it out there and knowing that you arent going to settle for less. Are you allowed to have fun in the meantime? Of course. But if you are too focused on grabbing the first willing piece of ass on a nightly basis, then you arent really putting out there what it is you really want. So be careful in determining that a quickie here and there is the lifestyle that you want to live. Women who see you grabbing it up regularly are going to assume that you are only interested in the player lifestyle. And the majority of women want to avoid that.

Outlining what you really want might give you cause to consider changing your stomping grounds. In many cases, if you are looking for something more sound than a one nighter then you are going to have to break away from the nightly club scene. While you might end up hooking up with someone who has something more to offer, the chances are slim and once again you are going to find that you are chasing your tail hoping for that treat to fall out of the sky. Tailor your behavior to bring in what youre after and you will achieve it much faster than ever before.

Be honest with women about what you want. Our society is speeding up. We dont like to waste time looking at the wrong picture for too long. So simply by being up front and honest, you can eliminate time consuming mistakes and you can still be a genuine and interesting guy that women really want to swoon toward. Be the man you are and be the best man you are, be honest, and be real and it wont really take that long. Put up walls, misleading communication, and lies and you will be searching for the next fifty years. It is much easier to get what you are all about if you simply let people know where you stand.

Cut yourself a break. We are so hard on ourselves. We often believe that we are uncomfortable with ourselves we will invoke change and create the world we believe that we are more interested in. We invoke change when we are ready for change and whether we are unhappy with who we are doesnt increase our chances of creating a happier life. Creating a happier life actually encourages the changes we want to take hold and anchor themselves firmly within our grasp. Being miserable is just that, it is a form of ugliness that we throw out into the world. We dont have to do all that nonsense. Instead, we can make the decisions that we are more comfortable with, take care of our needs to the best of our ability, and create our own sense of happiness. By doing this, we immediately are better men and we in turn attract better women.

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